The time has come for a beautiful life inside. I have wasted much of my life thinking about appearances. How does what I’m wearing fit me? Did the neighbors notice that I argued with my partner? What will my mother think if I tell her I want to get a divorce? Now I want a good life inside , not outside.
On more occasions than we think, we are conditioned by what others will say about our life. Perhaps an idea too self-centered, the others, after all, should not take care of their own life?
The truth is that it is, but social norms, pleasing everyone, and maintaining a kind of spotless appearance seem to be the main goals of many people.
I want a good life inside
It is useless for us to worry so much about appearances if we get down on ourselves when we cross the threshold of the house. Suddenly we are no longer a perfect couple, but a marriage that is about to end; we no longer have a job to brag about, but a boss to complain about because he doesn’t respect us or pay us what he should.
In spite of everything, we go out with a smile and, at times, we lie stating things that are nothing more than what we would like to happen in reality.
What are we afraid of? What will they say? This is a huge energy expenditure. Everyone has their problems, we are imperfect! We make mistakes, and in order to learn from them, you need to accept them.
If, on the other hand, we try to hide them, we will live a life full of frustration and unhappiness. Do we really want to sacrifice our well-being to keep up appearances?
It does not matter if we are concerned about being judged by a neighbor or a family member. All people tend to criticize what they don’t know, perhaps because they see reflected parts of themselves that they reject.
What really matters is seeking our happiness, doing what we know will make us feel good. Even if this involves facing various fears, value judgments and criticisms that shouldn’t matter to us.
Believe “what they will say”
Like many things in this life, we are surrounded by beliefs that we cling to so tightly that we resist separating from them.
We seem to believe that we are our beliefs, that define us and that if we transgress them, we are making a terrible mistake.
For this we must begin to give priority to what we want, looking for our well-being and not to please others. But how can we do all this?
1. Abandon self-impositions
There are some things we learned as children that have left an important mark on us. For example, if they scolded us for talking too much, we probably don’t do it now and have chosen to listen.
In childhood, what did they tell us we should do? How should we show ourselves? How should we be? Don’t laugh too hard, don’t jump from place to place, always keep your clothes clean, go where we say …
Why do we have to keep doing all this? Before, we were under the responsibility of our parents and our life was directed by them, but not anymore. We can change all of this!
2. Accept what we do for a good life inside
Before we get depressed because everyone is judging us or trying to maintain a flawless appearance, we should ask ourselves if we accept our desires or if, on the contrary, we are limiting ourselves.
For example, I want to get a divorce but I don’t do it because of what they will say. However, that’s what I want! I’m limiting myself, I don’t accept my decision, I don’t put what I want first.
We need to start prioritizing our decisions. This way we will realize that people don’t judge us as much as we thought and that if they do, we don’t care!
We have to think about ourselves. To prioritize what we want, not what we should do. Because, in the end, we are the ones who have the helm of our life in hand. We cannot let ourselves be guided by our beliefs and fears, much less by others.