The Effects Of Domestic Quarrels On Children

Parents are the first example for their children. For this reason, it is important that they learn to resolve marital conflicts in a peaceful and civil way. Otherwise, children may perceive violence, aggression and fear as cornerstones of their life.
The effects of domestic quarrels on children

However exemplary or mature a relationship may be, in a couple there will always be misunderstandings and arguments at home. However, we sometimes forget the presence of young children when this occurs, just as we forget the consequences this can have on their growth. In this regard, we want to share with you the effects of domestic quarrels on children.

We may tend to think that arguments have no effect on our children. However, quarrels between parents, whether verbal or physical, are still a form of violence. But what are the effects of domestic quarrels on children ?

Domestic violence

According to UNICEF, the family is the most important social institution for the growth, education and protection of its members.

However, sometimes, due to the lack of useful tools for communication and emotion management, misunderstandings between parents turn into serious conflicts that damage not only the couple, but also the children.

Indeed, specialists report that on a global level it is precisely in the family context that children are most at risk from violence.

Arguing parents and tired child

For this reason it is easy for domestic discussions to affect children directly and deeply. Below, we show you why this happens.

The effects of domestic quarrels on children

In the relationships between members of the same family various factors take over; among these the social, emotional, behavioral aspects and those of the family structure stand out.

These aspects are exacerbated by the existence of domestic violence, by the exercise of power in the family: the justification and use of violence as a normal act to solve problems.

The result is that all family members will perceive violence as normal.

Evidently, this will affect every aspect of family life, and in particular that of children who are unable to question the normality of the family context and situation.

Although the consequences affect the child in general, precisely because they affect different areas of his life, today we want to share some of the most serious effects that domestic disputes have on children.

1. Physical effects

The consequences of domestic quarrels on children can also manifest themselves physically. These include growth retardation, insomnia problems, eating disorders, psychosomatic symptoms or illnesses, delays, and so on.

Physical Effects of Quarrels on Children

2. Emotional effects

It is important to point out that children who do not find a point of reference in their parents have difficulty in understanding and fully understanding emotions.

For example, it will be difficult for them to deal with frustration or anger, and they will express themselves through aggression. The result is that they will exert violence towards both others and themselves.

At the same time, they may feel helpless and helpless in the face of traumatic experiences. This could lead them to consolidate shy, anxious and fearful behavior.

3. Social effects

Another of the effects of domestic quarrels on children is the poor ability to express themselves and make friends and build relationships of trust with others.

This is due to the fear of experiencing a traumatic event again; or rather, distrust as a tool to avoid negative feelings associated with the memory of violence.

At the same time, lack of empathy, aggression or criminal conduct may develop.

4. Cognitive effects

Often children who witness their parents’ arguments have difficulty concentrating, which causes difficulties in learning and development.

On the other hand, it is possible that there is a tendency to dissociation, or to a defense mechanism by which the individual tends to detach himself from reality to minimize conflict and stress.

This conduct is considered a disorder, since it alters consciousness, identity, memory, as well as the perception of what is happening around them.

Little girl getting a bad grade

5. Effects on self-esteem

Due to the fact that they are in the development stage, children can manifest negative feelings towards themselves.

For example, they may believe that they are the cause of their ills and that they are responsible for the mistreatment. The result is that they tend to isolate themselves because their self-esteem is reduced and, consequently, anxiety increases.


Domestic violence is directly associated with the aggressive and callous behavior of children and its manifestation during adult life.

If the problem is not dealt with in time, it can turn into a threat to safety and the good of the community.

As parents, it is vital that you take responsibility for your actions and manage them in the best possible way.

If we have had a difficult life or if our family culture is full of moments of violence, we must make sure that we move away from it and not pass on the same problems to our children.

Indeed, in this case, we must change the patterns and find a civil solution to the problems of the couple.

If doing so is difficult, we can turn to a specialist. Children’s health and well-being are very important to children – let’s help them be happy.

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